Doctor’s Rounds 08: For part eight, Jason Voorhees took Manhattan. I, on the other hand, took my sweet time!


INGLORIOUS Reviews for QT’s Latest: There are only a few subjects that truly divide the masses. Religion is one. Capital punishment is also in there. Quentin Tarantino is without a doubt a firm addition to that list. So I shall tread carefully, keep this brief and reserve my own opinions for a future occasion.

It has to be said that QT’s new movie INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, has looked fairly promising to date. Posters were appropriately witty and trailers promised a return to boys-own Nazi-era adventuring. However, reviews from the film’s premier at Cannes clearly suggest filing the end product under “P”. For “pure crap”, that is.

In fact, I understand that a bootleg copy is already on it’s way to our own Ferguson for his unique brand of viewing pleasure!

How bad can it be? Well, The Guardian’s movie critic referred to the world’s first screening of the movie with the immortal line, “[QT’s] new film arrived like some colossal armour-plated turkey from hell”. Ah.

But at least the London Telegraph was slightly more positive, stating the movie was, “not so much inglorious as undistinguished.” Ouch.

So, after the tepid reaction to DEATH PROOF and now this critical slaughtering, the big question is whether Quentin still had that special mojo that set the world alight in the mid 90’s? What do you think?

DESCENT PART 2 Not so Decent?: Speaking of early reviews, Aint It Cool News recently posted one of the first reviews of the upcoming sequel to Neil Marshall’s sleeper classic THE DESCENT. Unfortunately, if this preview is reliable, it looks to be an unimaginative rehash of the original. If so, that’d be a real shame.

The first had me clenched in claustrophobic catatonia (god bless alliteration) before having me instantly shit my load during the now famous night vision reveal. Those who’ve listened to the commentaries will know that most of that skill in execution was courtesy of uber-editor Jon Harris… who has debuted his directing skills with DESCENT PART 2.


Click here for the (spoiler heavy) review: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41010

I personally think that this could still be a fun time. Most of my favourite horror movies are cheap-ass sequels that you can throw on to enjoy with a few beers, and this sounds just that kind of flick – obvious example being Cameron’s ALIENS to Scott’s ALIEN (although perhaps a tad lower market!). Couple that with the fact that everything Marshall has been involved with to date has been first class… well, maybe not DOOMSDAY…?

Porno star in PIRANHA 3D: Alexandre Aja makes great horror movies. This is fact. Piranha’s are the baddest fish in any pond. Also fact. And yet I had 0% interest in Aja’s next movie, PIRANHA. Even the added incentive of 3D (which could work best for a killer fish film than any other) didn’t have me even curious. But now? I’m there opening night.

In an obvious move to coax my hard earned cash out of my usually ninja-tight grip, Aja’s gone ahead and cast adult movie star Riley Steele into a leading role! Yes, I’m actually that shallow.

Steele’s obviously got plenty of experience in front of the camera, but quite how this will prepare her for a starring role alongside Oscar nominee Elisabeth Shue, Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss or Ving Rhames is yet to be seen. Probably best that she focus on the fact that former glamour model Kelly Brook is also featuring.


In fact, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ll probably spend most of the running time focusing on that very fact.